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I've been thinking for awhile about what comes of making things public – facebook ... marriage ... other stuff. So I was a bit excited when at a wedding not so long ago a stranger came up to me out of the blue and started talking to me about pretty much exactly this.
Not sure how it started - but at a wedding, being unmarried but attached it's a short, obvious route to the 'why aren't you married' discussion which I try to turn into the 'why are you married' discussion, because it's only ever married people that ask. The man, a sailor, hesitantly told me of what happens to love over the course of a long marriage. He was hesitant like you might be uncertain if you should tell a small child their first ghost story. Eventually he told me, though only if I promised to keep it between me, him and this ocean that we were standing next to outside the restaurant that night. Anyway, it was something he talked about with a great sense of loss, but even so, he was still passionate enough about the importance of the public declaration of love through marriage that he offered his house for us to have a wedding barbecue at :-) and he talked on and on about how wonderful it was that the bride and groom were declaring their love in front of everyone.
We argued for ages over why people should do the public ceremony and as he talked, I remembered this stuff I'd been reading about, all that ask the universe stuff and it will deliver, so I was pretty excited that I'd been thinking really, really hard about this idea and then suddenly late one night, a stranger would start talking to me about exactly this. I kept thinking, 'Holy crap it's working! I asked and I'm about to get the answer!' And then it was over, we had to go back to our tables for dessert. I was still so excited that it was only days later when I sit down to tell you that I realise he'd never really answered why making public declarations was important, he'd just said that they were important ... shitballs.
